Prom prelude brightens dad’s hospital stay

When her stepfather couldn’t see her off to prom this 15-year-old came to visit him at his bedside.

By TJ Banes, IU Health Senior Journalist, tfender1@iuhealth.org

There are many things about Bryan Rutan that keep his focus on better days ahead.

He is a disabled veteran having served 15 years in the Navy. During tours in Iraq, Italy, and Hawaii, he sustained physical and mental trauma. Through all his experiences, he believes in the power of positivity. He is thankful for his two adult children, the support of his fiancé of three years, Melissa “Lissy” Stanley, and her daughter, Madeline, 15.

When Madeline’s high school prom night was approaching and her stepfather was in the hospital, she didn’t want him to miss the chance to see her in her gown. So, she visited Rutan in the hospital.

“It’s moments like that that keep me going and keep me positive,” said Rutan, 46 of Bedford, Ind. His stay at IU Health started in January with a stomachache. He went to the emergency room and was told he had pancreatitis. Within six hours his health declined, and his kidneys began shutting down. He was eventually intubated and transferred by LifeLine to IU Health Bloomington. After two weeks, Rutan was again transported by LifeLine to University Hospital in Indianapolis.

“Every place he’s been they’ve had a hand in saving his life,” said his fiancé, who has constantly been by his side. She credits the interventional radiology team at University Hospital for the drainage tubes that are collecting fluids from Rutan’s body. She mentioned his physicians by name - Dr. Laura Hinkle, Dr. Maya Haouili, and Dr. Quinn Kaurich were part of Rutan’s ICU care team at University Hospital.

“They stood out not only for their medical care and bedside manner, but for the way they involved me during rounds. They allowed me to listen, understand what was happening, and gave me the opportunity to ask questions. As Bryan’s advocate, that meant everything and made me feel validated in speaking up for him,” said Stanley.

When Rutan was moved to Methodist Hospital Stanley remembers Dr. Ben Follman who was determined to help extubate her fiancé. “His persistence, encouragement, and confidence played a huge role in making that happen,” said Stanley. She adds Dr. Mitchell Craft who also left a lasting impression. “He has a way of speaking with patients and families that makes you feel like you’re on the same level, while still clearly demonstrating his deep knowledge and expertise. He was encouraging, reassuring, and helped us feel confident in the path forward.”

It was a team who helped propel Rutan to where he is now – able to talk, smile, and look ahead to his future.

“He’s had every single machine you can think of, continuous dialysis, a ventilator, and blue mats to control his body temperature – three rows of lights that looked like a Christmas tree,” said Stanley. “When I walked into his room in Bloomington, I was told that they didn’t expect him to live. Every day has been a blessing. We feel like prayers are answered and every person has been put in our lives at the right time.”

Stanley has kept notes of every practitioner who has played a role in the care of her fiancé. Included on that list is the staff at Fair Haven, an organization that provides housing for patients and families. Fair Haven has provided Stanley and her daughter a home-away-from home during Rutan’s hospital stay. It’s where her daughter prepped for her prom before visiting Rutan in the hospital.

Sometimes, the acts of care for the family may seem small to some but have left a lasting impact.

Stanley shares how Rutan typically wears a longer beard. When he first went to the hospital in Bloomington they encountered a respiratory therapist, also with a longer beard. When it came time to shave Rutan’s beard, the respiratory therapist was able to help preserve some of Rutan’s personal appearance with a simple trim.

“It was like, ‘one bearded brother to another,’ and what may have been a small thing to many was a big thing to us. We walked into his room where everything was so different with machines and tubes everywhere and this one thing – Bryan with his beard – added a little normalcy to our lives,” said Stanley. “We are so thankful to the ICU nursing teams at Bloomington, University, and Methodist. They set the bar incredibly high and then exceeded it.”

Rutan listens and nods as his fiancé speaks. He responds slowly and thoughtfully as he thinks about his future.

“The goal is to get back up and be self-reliant, working hard through physical therapy and recovery,” said Rutan. “I’m weak now, and I need help doing everything and I’m blessed to know Lissy was there to help get me through.”

And they’re both thinking about their wedding: “Sooner rather than later,” said Rutan.